i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
