If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
soo... how was my night?
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