did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
