Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
