i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize