Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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