My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
