I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
