I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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