so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
