She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
