I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
