when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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