you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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