What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
