I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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