A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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