umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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