Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
