Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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