Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
