vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
