How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
