I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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