just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
