I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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