I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
