I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
