i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
