NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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