I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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