In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
