So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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