Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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