I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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