ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
