Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
