I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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