i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
