I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
