Only a mothe r could love this liver
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
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