it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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