I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
