Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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