The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
