I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
