Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
third nipple confirmed
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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