Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
