just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
