I think my fart just growled at me.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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