how do flat chested girls get laid?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
