If i come over, it means nothing
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
