Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
