yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
