She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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