Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize