You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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