My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
