I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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